Raising Future Adults: Leading Your Family with Purpose and Vision
As a pastor and a father, I’ve come to understand that parenting isn’t just about managing the challenges of today—it’s about preparing our children for the future. We’re not just raising children; we’re raising future adults. Shifting our mindset in this way changes how we approach parenting, making it about instilling values, building character, and guiding our children to become responsible, Christ-centered adults.
In this post, I want to share practical tools and principles that my family and I have found helpful over the years. These are ideas you can implement in your home to lead your family with purpose and vision, empowering your children to thrive in their walk with God and navigate life’s challenges with wisdom.
1. Fostering Open Communication
One of the most important things we’ve learned in our family is the value of fostering open communication. It doesn’t always happen when it’s convenient. For example, our middle child tends to open up late at night, right when my wife and I are getting ready for bed. But we’ve realized that this is when he’s most comfortable sharing his thoughts and feelings, so we intentionally make time to talk with him.
As parents, we need to recognize the unique rhythms of our children and create space for meaningful conversations, even if it disrupts our schedules. These moments build trust and connection, and they’re often where the most important discussions take place. Being flexible and making ourselves available shows our kids that their thoughts and concerns matter.
2. Intentional Time Together
One of the most impactful practices in our family has been having regular family dinners. It’s at the dinner table that we have some of the most important conversations—discussing the day, real-world issues, and life lessons in a relaxed setting. I’ve often joked that one day we will start a podcast called “Wisdom from the Dinner Table” because of all the important things our kids have learned just by sitting down together.
These dinners don’t require elaborate preparation—just intentionality. It’s a chance to check in with your children, talk through their challenges, and help them process what they’re learning. Even in seasons where time is tight, these consistent moments of connection create opportunities to impart wisdom and strengthen family bonds. The key here is flexibility; maybe your family dinners are a weekly event or happen more frequently, but it’s about prioritizing the time, no matter how often it happens.
3. Model the Behavior You Want to See
As parents, we are the primary examples of what it means to live out the Christian faith. It’s not enough to tell our children to be kind, generous, or faithful—they need to see those values in action. I often remind myself that my children are watching how I handle stress, how I treat others, and how I respond to life’s challenges.
Practical: Let them see you apologize when you’ve made a mistake. If you want your children to prioritize prayer, let them see you praying daily. If you want them to be generous, invite them into discussions about how you decide to give to others. For example, when giving our regular tithes and offerings, we intentionally had them write the check so they could understand the principles of giving. Now that we’ve transitioned to digital giving, we still involve them by showing how we give through online platforms, reinforcing the same principles in a modern way.
Our actions often speak louder than our words, and the habits we model will naturally influence our children’s behavior.
4. Building Independence and Responsibility
As our children grow, we need to gradually transfer decision-making responsibilities to them. When they’re young, we make most decisions for them, but as they mature, we should guide them to take on more ownership of their choices. This can be done by setting milestones that match their age and readiness for responsibility.
For example, younger children might start with chores or helping plan simple family activities. As they grow, you can teach them about budgeting, making decisions about time management, or handling conflict. Each milestone represents a new level of independence, helping them build the skills they need to be responsible adults. This gradual shift allows them to learn from mistakes while they still have your support, setting them up for success later.
5. Recognizing the Individuality of Your Children
Every child is different. While one child might thrive in structured routines, another might need more flexibility. Recognizing each child’s individuality allows you to tailor your parenting approach to what works best for them.
For example, when it comes to setting milestones for responsibility, some kids will need more time or guidance, while others may be ready to take on more responsibility sooner. Be attentive to their strengths, weaknesses, and natural inclinations, and adjust your approach accordingly. The goal is to guide them toward the same end—maturity in Christ and responsibility as adults—but the path to get there might look different for each child.
6. Prioritize Spiritual and Emotional Health
Raising well-rounded adults means nurturing not only their physical and intellectual growth but also their spiritual and emotional health. In today’s busy world, it’s easy to overlook this, but it’s crucial for helping our children develop a strong foundation in Christ.
In our family, we’ve made space for regular family prayers, devotionals, and open discussions about faith and feelings. It doesn’t have to be rigid—we take time to pray before dinner, and other times it’s a deeper conversation before bed. What’s important is consistency. We also regularly check in on how our kids are feeling, allowing them to share their emotional struggles. These conversations not only help them process their feelings but also reinforce that their spiritual and emotional well-being is important to us.
A practical tip: Designate one night a week as a “family devotional night” or set aside 10 minutes a day to talk about a Bible verse and how it applies to real-life situations your kids might be facing. A great place to start is working through the book of Proverbs.
7. Develop a Family Culture
Beyond creating a family vision, think about the type of culture you want to cultivate in your home. What values and traditions make your family unique? Do you want your home to be a place of hospitality, creativity, or service?
For us, a core part of our family culture revolves around open communication and hospitality—welcoming others into our home and creating a safe space where our children and their friends feel heard. Building a family culture gives your children a sense of identity and belonging that can carry them through their lives.
A practical way to develop this is to sit down with your spouse and children and ask, What are the values that define us as a family? Then brainstorm ways to live those values out in everyday life. Maybe it’s through weekly acts of service, creative family projects, or even how you handle conflict.
8. Encouraging Mentorship and Accountability
Parenting is a journey, and it’s important to recognize that we don’t have to go through it alone. One of the most powerful tools you can implement is mentorship—seeking out advice and support from other parents who are a step ahead. Accountability from trusted friends or fellow parents can help you stay grounded and focused on your family vision.
I want to encourage you to be a part of environments where your family can grow and be supported. Rosedale Baptist Church provides environments for your entire family. We have great spaces for children, teens, young adults, and adults. My wife and I lead a weekly Life Group at 10 AM (in between our 9 and 11 services) that focuses on teaching about the family through the lens of God’s Word. We would love for you to be a part of our Life Group and our weekly services.
As parents, we have the incredible privilege of guiding our children through their formative years and helping them become the adults God has called them to be. While the church and Christian school are wonderful partners in this journey, they are not replacements for the primary responsibility God has given us. We are entrusted with raising our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The church and school complement this role, but the responsibility rests with us.
The church and school stand alongside you as partners in nurturing your child’s faith, but the foundation is laid by the everyday moments in your home. As we lead our families with purpose and vision, we trust that God will use our efforts to shape the next generation of faithful, Christ-centered adults.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it.
