Mental Health: Proactive Ways to Help your Child

We are in the thick of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) season, and you may have noticed a shift in your child’s mood. They might be more sluggish, less conversational, moody, unmotivated, or downright sad. During this season (and others), here are some practical tips for being proactive in caring for your child’s mental health.

1. Create a Safe Space to Check In
Be available. Talk to your child and let them know they can always come and talk to you, no matter the circumstances. They may not take you up on it right away, and that’s okay! However, if you continue to reassure them that you’re there for them, there will come a day when they do.

2. Give Them Your Undivided Attention
It’s easy to be busy! We live in a time when multitasking feels necessary to get things done. However, when your child talks to you, they need to be the center of your world. It’s already difficult for kids to open up. If they do and feel like you’re not fully available, they might not open up again. Put down the phone. Close the laptop. Give your child your full attention.

3. Don’t Freak Out
As a mental health therapist, kids have opened up to me in ways they would NEVER open up to their parents. This is because I don’t react. Kids have shared some horrifying things with me—some things I’ve had to report to their parents and even to CPS. Other things weren’t as serious but felt very weighty to the child. They may be big issues in your household and require action, but what you can’t do is panic or overreact. If you do, they will be less likely to talk to you about difficult things again.

4. Take Them Seriously
If you want your child to talk to you, you must take them seriously. As an adult, many of their worries might seem trivial, but if it’s real to them, it must be real to you. Your 15-year-old doesn’t have a car payment, a mortgage, or the responsibility of putting food on the table. Those are adult-sized problems. So when they feel anxious, depressed, or stressed, don’t minimize their experience. Create a space for them to express their feelings, or help find a solution if they want one.

5. Learn to Recognize Signs of Distress
This list is not exhaustive, but here are some signs to look out for:

  • Frequent emotional outbursts
  • Excessive worries or fears
  • Sadness or withdrawal
  • Irritability
  • Expressions of hopelessness or self-degradation
  • Withdrawing from family
  • Avoiding schoolwork or chores
  • Aggression or risky behaviors
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Inconsistent sleep patterns
  • Unexplained physical symptoms
  • Declining grades
  • Difficulty making friends
  • Regressive behaviors (e.g., bed-wetting or thumb-sucking)
  • Self-harm
  • Talk of death, feeling like a burden, or harming animals

6. Get a Third Party Involved (Non-Clinical)
Seventy-eight percent of children would rather talk about mental health issues with someone other than their parents. Consider finding them a mentor, a trusted family friend, teacher, or coach to speak into their lives and walk alongside you in supporting your child.

7. Consider Therapy
Sometimes we think, “Nothing is wrong with my child,” or “Their problems aren’t that serious.” But the moment you feel you can’t be helpful to your child, and non-clinical support doesn’t suffice, consider taking your child to counseling. On average, 79% of adolescents feel better after going to therapy to manage mental health issues.

In a crisis, such as managing thoughts of suicide or homicide, please take your child to the nearest emergency room. If something is wrong, don’t wait. Get your child the help they need!

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