Have you ever been tempted by one of those “clickbait-y” YouTube thumbnails—the ones designed to grab your attention with a flashy image and an edgy caption? Imagine one that says, “This one habit is destroying your family.” What kind of habits would come to mind? Maybe you’d think of screen time for kids, unhealthy eating habits, or even the constant hustle of daily life. But would “unthankfulness” make the list? For most of us, probably not.

We live in a world with plenty of big issues, and unthankfulness might not seem like a major one. Jerry Bridges says it this way in his book Respectable Sins: “Taking for granted all the temporal provisions and spiritual blessings that God has so richly bestowed on us, and so failing to continually give Him thanks, is one of our ‘acceptable’ sins.” But if we look at Scripture, specifically 2 Timothy 3:2, we find that unthankfulness is described as a significant sign of a society’s decline. In fact, it’s listed alongside more obviously disgraceful behaviors like blasphemy and coveting. This tells us that, according to Scripture, unthankfulness is pretty serious. So, as parents, how do we help our kids develop a heart of gratitude? Here are a few thoughts to consider:

1. Challenge Yourself to Count Blessings Instead of Comparing Blessings

One of the most important ways to nurture gratitude in our kids is by modeling it ourselves. This means learning to count our blessings instead of comparing them. Social media makes it easy to focus on what others have—their possessions, their vacations, the opportunities they’re given. But when we get caught up in comparing, we lose sight of the countless ways God has blessed us. Jon Acuff, in his book Soundtracks, reminds us, “You can’t have gratitude if you can’t first admit something is good.” We have to start looking at the good that God is doing in our lives. So, what good has God done for you this week, month, or year?

I want to be someone who counts blessings, not compares them, and I want to teach my kids to do the same. This means taking intentional moments to reflect on God’s goodness in our lives. Maybe it’s stopping to look back on the past year during Thanksgiving season or simply pausing to recognize the little ways we see God’s hand in our day-to-day lives. Instead of lamenting what we don’t have, let’s show our children how to rejoice in what we do have and thank God for it. I’ll close this section with a thought from Paul Tripp: “The DNA of joy is gratitude. When I am living in self-focused, demanding entitlement, I will find it very hard to be joyful. I will find endless reasons to complain. But if I am living in awe of God’s existence, sovereignty, and grace, coupled with a knowledge of the depth of my own need, I will find reasons to be thankful all around me. And as I do, I will live with the constant joy of gratitude.”

2. Call Kids to Be Contributors, Not Just Consumers

One reason unthankfulness creeps into our lives is that we’re often pushed to be consumers. We’re encouraged to want more, use more, and move on to the next thing. But gratitude grows when we shift from being mere consumers to becoming contributors.

Think about it—when we work hard on something, when we “put in blood, sweat, and tears,” we’re less likely to take it for granted. In our homes, this can start with something as simple as household chores. When kids are given responsibilities and see that they’re part of making the family function, they start to feel invested. They’re not just taking; they’re giving too.

We can also encourage our kids to contribute in broader ways—at school, in church, and in our communities. The book Family Discipleship shares this thought: “Kids left to their own devices will not desire to consider others before themselves, so model it and invite them into it. Serving our neighbors cultivates gratitude, empathy, and love, and it counteracts entitlement.” When children contribute, they feel ownership, pride, and gratitude for what they’ve helped create. I want my kids to see that they’re not just passive consumers of what others do; they’re part of something meaningful.

3. Change Conversations Instead of Conforming to Them

Finally, we need to be mindful of the conversations we’re having, especially when it comes to complaining. Complaining is contagious, but contentment must be cultivated. Once complaints start, it’s easy for everyone to join in. But instead of conforming to negative conversations, let’s be intentional about changing them.

This doesn’t mean we ignore real problems. Life has its challenges, and it’s okay to acknowledge them. But rather than getting stuck in a cycle of complaints, let’s focus on solutions and gratitude. I want to be someone who resists the urge to jump into complaining and instead shifts the conversation towards positivity and thankfulness. It also doesn’t mean we are unkind to unthankful people. Luke 6:35 shows us God’s care for the unthankful. However, we shouldn’t encourage environments where complaining overshadows contentment.

When we teach our kids to look for solutions instead of just pointing out problems, we’re helping them become people who contribute to the world in meaningful ways. We’re teaching them that gratitude isn’t about pretending everything is perfect but about recognizing God’s grace even in difficult situations.

Final Thoughts

Helping our kids develop a heart of gratitude may feel countercultural, but it’s worth the effort. Our society often encourages unthankfulness, but Scripture shows us that gratitude is vital. These three steps—counting blessings, becoming contributors, and changing the conversation—are just a starting point. There are probably many more ways to foster gratitude in our families, and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Let’s become families who focus on gratitude, who teach our kids to appreciate what they have, and who encourage them to contribute to the world around them. It’s a journey, but with God’s help, we can build thankful hearts in our kids and ourselves.